Continuing Bonds in Bereavement
Redefining Our Connection with the Deceased
Grief is often seen as a process of letting go — of saying goodbye, finding closure, and moving on. However, modern bereavement theory challenges this idea, particularly through the concept of continuing bonds. Introduced by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman in the 1990s, this perspective suggests that healthy grieving doesn’t necessarily mean severing emotional ties with the deceased. Instead, it means transforming those ties into a new, enduring relationship.
Continuing bonds can take many forms. Some people talk to their loved one in private moments or visit their grave regularly. Others keep their memory alive through rituals, storytelling, or by living according to the values the deceased held dear. This ongoing connection provides comfort, identity continuity, and even guidance.
Crucially, maintaining a bond with the deceased is not a sign of being “stuck” in grief. In fact, research shows that for many, continuing bonds are a natural and adaptive part of the grieving process. They allow the bereaved to integrate the loss into their lives in a meaningful way — not by forgetting, but by remembering with love and purpose.
In an increasingly diverse and personalized landscape of mourning, continuing bonds affirm that grief is not a linear path to detachment, but a complex journey where love endures beyond death.
Countinuing Bonds within Grief Counselling
Guiding you through the concept of continuing bonds is part of my grief counselling therapy with you.
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Contact me: https://letstalkaboutit.co.uk/contact/
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